I feel exhausted…

I’m tired this morning.

This week I’ve had the privilege of leading worship for a revival at a church in Poplar Bluff.  I love leading worship, and music has always been one of my creative outlets. Initially when I was asked to participate in the revival I was all in , and excited.  The closer it got to the actual dates, the more I was second guessing … it’s just a busy time of the semester … I was gone 3 days last week for a conference … Kelly and I will be gone for another 3 days next week for a wedding … I’ll be gone another 3 days for Lifeway Collegiate Summit the next week … and we’ll be done with this semester.  So in the midst of all the normal daily activities, ministry, etc, now I’m driving 3 hours round-trip for this revival each night this week.  

I didn’t want to get out of bed this morning.  I just felt exhausted.  Then I began to think how silly I was being … “you’re just leading music” … “1 1/2 drive one-way isn’t terrible” … “you got plenty of sleep”  All of these things are true … and I’m not one to over-spiritualize every situation … but I think there is a spiritual component to my fatigue.   Leading worship, at least for me, isn’t just a “pick some songs and wing it” type of activity.  I try to pray over the service and get a sense of what the Lord may be doing and try to select lyrics to express that … I see it as a great responsibility, leading others to the throne, inviting them to worship the One True God. 

I should mention at this point that about 2 weeks before the revival I emailed the pastor to get an idea of what their normal services were like as far as music style, etc, just so I wouldn’t be coming in completely out of context.  He mentioned in his reply that they had, in the last 4-5 weeks moved from a completely traditional service to a completely contemporary service.  This information was helpful to me in considering what songs I would choose to lead.  Fast forward to this past Friday … 2 days before the revival, and I get another message from the pastor that said, and I quote “I should mention that our church is currently in upheaval about the changes in worship” … oh boy!  This didn’t really change any of my plans as far as what I would do during the revival, but it helped me to realize that I would be entering an environment where the adversary was already at work trying to cause division within the body, and getting them to focus on the TYPE of our worship rather than the OBJECT of our worship.

So … I feel like there is a spiritual component to my tiredness today.  I believe satan does anything and everything to distract us and/or keep us from doing what God has called us to do, even if it means just making me tired. So, I needed these reminders this morning:

The LORD is my strength and my shield; in him my heart trusts, and I am helped; my heart exults, and with my song I give thanks to him. Ps. 28:7

Have you not known? Have you not heard?
The Lord is the everlasting God,
    the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He does not faint or grow weary;
    his understanding is unsearchable.
 He gives power to the faint,
    and to him who has no might he increases strength.
 Even youths shall faint and be weary,
    and young men shall fall exhausted;
 but they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength;
    they shall mount up with wings like eagles;
they shall run and not be weary;
    they shall walk and not faint.  Is. 40:28-31

Whom have I in heaven but you?
    And there is nothing on earth that I desire besides you.
 My flesh and my heart may fail,
    but God is the strength of my heart and my portionforever.  Ps. 73:25-26

For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.                    2 Cor. 12:10

So today … I plant my feet firmly in the Lord and find my strength in Him. He is worthy of all of my exhausted self and so much more.

-E

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