Africa Journal: Day 8 – January 3, 2009

From my journal:

“… since being here, I’ve thought a lot about culture and languages, and I am very interested in these aspects of our ministry.  This causes me to wonder and think ‘why did God give me those thoughts, likes, etc.’?  Could it be that I am supposed to engage a culture?  Learn the language? Help story the Gospel in their language? Is it that I am supposed to go to Korea? Is that my ‘thing?’  The thing that I feel like I am supposed to figure out while I’m here?  If I stay in Springfield, what am I supposed to do? God, I have so many questions about what You have for me.  I trust Your plan and know that Your will is perfect, and Your timing is right.  I ask that You forgive me for my impatience in this area and that whenever You reveal things to me that I would have assurance that it is from You.  That You would protect my thoughts and actions from the attack of the evil one.

Father, I’m learning to depend upon You more and more.  I ask that You keep me in that mind, help me to always rely on You for all things.  Jesus, I ask that You refine my thoughts and desires so that only those that are from You will remain.  God take away the desires of my heart that are distractions from You.  God, I want a family.  I want to love a woman as my wife and live life with her.  I want to be a father, and love and nurture children.  God, as hard as it is for me to imagine life without those things, what I really want is what You want for me.  Clarify my priorities so that I only see You…”

This was our last full day in Sebekoro … we would leave in the morning to head toward Bangassi.  We spent a good portion of the morning climbing a “mountain” near Sebekoro to get away for some group time, and to pray over the villages of Mali.  The climb was fun, the view was awesome, and the environment lent itself to a lot of introspection . . . in the midst of such a vast land that is part of such a large continent on this earth that is part of our solar system in our galaxy which is just one of millions of known galaxies . . . makes you feel pretty small.  Gives quite a reality check.

We continued the same sort of ministry today as had been happening the past few days, and we were showing the Jesus film in one last village before leaving the next day to travel to the Fulanke people in Bangassi.  My mind however, was apparently in all sorts of different places this day.  This particular excerpt was just one tangent that I went on in my journal.

I think I went on this trip with no expectations about the people, ministry etc … but I think I had placed some sort of expectation on God to “reveal something” to me.  I don’t have any idea what it was supposed to be, but apparently I was pretty focused on it this particular day.  I really began to pray that God would rid me of all my selfish thoughts and desires and that I would begin to really focus in on Him and Him only.  To “seek Him first” like Matthew 6 says.  It’s hard to come to a place where you feel like you have to surrender all of your dreams and wants and desires, and truly be in the mindset that if I never get these things, it’s okay, because God is more than enough.  This was the beginning of a rough 24 hours or so for me emotionally … more about that tomorrow.

… meanwhile, I’m still learning to surrender to Him. 🙂

-E

During the climb:img_05311

View from the top ( you can see the village of Sebekoro in the distance):

img_0548

Group Shot at the top:

img_0556

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Comments
2 Responses to “Africa Journal: Day 8 – January 3, 2009”
  1. Fran says:

    I am so glad you had this experience. Thank you so much for taking us along now by these posts.

  2. frenotpokerclub says:

    dude, i am learning a ton from you! and i am so glad you are posting about this!

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